A little visit in the snow

I drive past Bourland street almost every day and sometimes I get stuck at the light and I always think about Charlie's little stone being just down the road if I turned right.  I usually don't turn but during the last snow, I decided that I had to. The cemetery was beautiful with a fresh blanket of snow and I am always able to park my car right under a beautiful big tree and walk 5 steps to her stone.  I always look around hers because it is in an area called "Babyland."  I noticed a new baby stone out there and my heart just skipped a beat for his parents.  There it is.  We wanted it simple. Not gaudy.  We have never been that attached to the cemetery or the stone because we know that isn't where she is.  But it is still meaningful and a place to visit to continue the healing.  I will never forget the day I had to go and design that stone.  No mommy should have to do that.  But God was amazing and timed it to be the same morning that I found out we were pregnant with Hudson.  I sat in the funeral home parking lot crying--both for what I had to go do as well as for the hope that I had again.  God sweetly whispered "Beauty for your ashes" to me and I would never be the same.  I couldn't decide if I wanted a picture of this on my blog but just kept being pulled to.  Maybe its because its one of the only physical things I have of her. Maybe its because I don't want to leave her out.  Everyone else sees our family pictures and smiles and so do I...but as a mommy, I always notice....that there is one missing. Maybe I always will?  It doesn't take away from my other 2 precious girls but she is a Power and I still miss her. More on some days. Maybe today is one of those days.